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An Eye-Opener for Both Western Men and Filipina Women

(HOT TOPIC OF ALL TIME)What I am about to emphasize here is based solely on my own experienced. My only intention here is to give full and honest reviews on both sides. You can drop your comments at the bottom of this page if there are things that I forgot to mention or you want your opinion to be heard. I am not siding on either; I will try to be neutral on my voice about why some Western Foreign men choose to marry a Filipina and why Filipina chose to marry western men. I have heard so many BS about Western men and Filipino women. Some can be true to either and most of these nasty feedback for both foreign men and Filipino women are just basically generalizing in whole.

(Click here if you need help on how to start petitioning your fiancé/e)

You have heard and probably met and maybe you have some friends who are married to Filipina. You see them being a very happy couple. You heard how amazing their relationship is. You may have also heard how wonderful Filipina can be as a wife. They are very attractive, loving, loyal, sweet, cute, and responsible; overall they are one of the best wives a man can have. You as a Western man might have negative experiences with Western women, so you decided to give a Filipina woman a shot. But wait a minute; you need to do some research. Knowing Filipino culture can save you time and money in the long run. Do not rust in just because you are lonely or just because you fall in love with that cute little girl on the Internet that you just met who have told you that you are the most handsome man in the world and that she loves you so much. Do not fall for it.

You as an individual need to get to know this person well. There is so much stuff for you to learn about the culture of Filipino women. Filipinas indeed are very loving and loyal to their husband. Filipinas main focuses as a wife is to provide a happy life for her family. But take note, marrying one is not an easy task. For one thing, it is going to cost a few thousand dollars from the time you started communicating with her to the time you decide to bring her over to your country. If money is not a problem then you are one of the lucky ones. For those foreign men who are living paycheck to paycheck, know that it can be quite costly to bring her back to your country. If you feel marrying a Filipina is your best choice, then you have so many years to save up even before you can go and meet this girl in person. But if you think you have found that unique, lovely, sweet and honest Filipina woman, every penny that you spent is worth it.

(FIANCE/E VISA HOW TO)

MONEY SUBJECTS:

There are so many honest Filipina out there. Even in the middle of crisis they will not utter the words to their foreign men “I need money because….my little niece is sick, my brother has cancer, etc……” They survived before you came in to their life, so why can’t they survive now? Sure we all need money. But an honest and decent Filipina woman will not beg for help or demand money from their fiancée or spouse. This is very typical for those Filipina woman who are highly respectable and virtues. If in any circumstances that some Filipino girls will beg you for money, you better run. A Filipino girl should never ask for money in the early of the relationship. After a while if finances allow, then she may ask to have money send home to the family. Meanwhile, if this occurs too soon in the relationship this maybe a red flag that she is after your money more than your love.

 

If you are really serious in getting a Filipina wife and bring her over to your country, you should BE AWARE! Okay, let’s fast forward. You have met your Filipina girl in person. You came back to your country and you continue on communicating with her. You finally said to yourself that she is the one. Before you even begin the petitioning process, here’s the list that I have compiled that might help you along the way.
You like the idea of having a Filipino wife but you don’t want kids in the future.

Solution: You better make sure getting the Filipina to understand you and who can accept you for not having kids with her because if you don’t say so beforehand this can leads to misunderstanding and worse yet divorce in the future. Better solution: Get the ones who have already kids who are unmarried.

Take note: It is very expensive to get annulment in the Philippines. So do not ever get married there. This is for your benefit and hers in the future just in case your married does not last. That way, she does not have to go that expensive long drawn out annulment route and you don’t end up spending a lot of money to annul your marriage in the Philippines.
You don’t like the idea of her sending money every month to her family.

Solution: You better have a nice long talk with her making her understand that money is not growing on the tree where you can just pluck. If she really wanted to do this, make her understand that you two will have your own life and your own bills to pay first. Tell her about the mortgage because they don’t have that in the Philippines or let me take it back. The majority homeowners in the Philippines are mostly renters. To some who owns one are those who can afford. Tell her about your car payment, student loan that you are still paying up to now, or child support. Make her understand that this is your first priority that you two need to pull your money together and take care of your household bills first before she can even send money to her family. Or she can work something on the side to help out both her primary family which is you (husband) and your future kids, then she can help out her immediate relative from the Philippines.

You don’t like the idea that she might turn into American spoiled rotten if you bring her over.

Solution: If you are ready to retire, just stay in the Philippines and have a life there with your newly Filipina wife. It will be much better off there for her anyways. She will be close with her parents. Some Filipina will have to go through home sickness and culture shock being in another country.

You like the idea that someone like Filipino can do household like cooking, cleaning, etc. for you.

Stop there you boy! Filipina are great in household chores but just because they came from a third world country it doesn’t mean you can treat them like a slave wife. If you are thinking of this, better think twice. Filipina girls are very caring, neat, organized but you cannot take advantage of them. You as a husband should contribute 50/50 on household chores if you want her to contribute on finances to pay half of your household bills. It only serves rights for both of you. But if you can afford to have her not to work and just take care of the household chores then that’s a different story. Even then still you as a husband should not expect to be serving all the time.

So You Still Want to Marry a Filipina and want to bring her over to US?

(Base only you petition her alone with no kids)

Here’s the time frame and how much it cost you roughly from the time you petition her to the time she will set her foot on your country.

Immigration related Expenses: (Approximate only)

Form I-129F= US$340

Visa Fees when Approved= US$240 

Saint Lukes Medical Exam for her= (approx.) = US $225 (may varies)

Miscellaneous Expenses:

Your round trip ticket to meet her (approx.) =$1500 plus pocket money (approx.) =$ 2000 minimum

Her Philippine passport= $60

If she is from Mindanao/Cebu South of Manila. Round trip ticket to manila for visa interview $ 150. (With chaperon double and even triple.)

Hotel and food= ? Who knows! (Ask her to stay with family in Manila if they have that option)

Her one way ticket to US could cost you up to US $1000.

So Save up save up save up!

 

P.S.

Once she arrives in US, your expenses for immigration related does not stop there. You have to get marry within 90 days. Then once that happens she will have to apply to register for permanent resident which could cost you total of $1070. ($985 for that application plus $85 for bio-metrics.)

Please note that government fees can change at anytime. 

Apply for work/SS= Form I-765= $380

After two years/removal of conditional status= Form I-751= $590.

r Women: So You Want to Marry a Western Foreign Man?

FYI: Bring your

 fiancee over to US is faster way. If you want to marry her in the Philippines this kind of visa can take from 1 to 2 year. So If you can’t wait that long Fiancee Visa (K1) is faster.

So you are looking for love outside your country? And you have found him. Do you know him well? Does he promise you the world? Do you really think he is the person you think he is? Don’t fall for it. Get to know him well. Like I said, both parties need to get to know each other well.

If that Western man said that he would come to the Philippines to meet you. Don’t think that he will come there just for you. Only few Foreigners would come and meet only one woman. Many Western men who goes to the Philippines and will meet several Filipinas even before he will meet you. Some would tell you so and some would hide this from you. So do not get hurt or discourage. Do not be afraid to ask if he comes just for you or if he come to meet a few. Being straight forward and getting an honest answer from these Foreigners will help you determine whether you want to meet a guy who wants to meet you but you are one of the few. I don’t blame these Foreigners for doing such because they want the best of the best. They want to make sure that they will have the right woman because this Filipina woman that they are going to choose is going to be their lifetime partner.

Now, if he chooses you over his top 30s or so of the list, Kudos to you! Now, he promises he is going to bring you over to United States. Just because you are now engaged with him, he is now responsible for you financially. I don’t think so lady! Unless he offered that he would support you financially by monthly while he is preparing for your immigration a document that’s perfectly fine. My suggestion: Please do not beg for money. Save your face and any other Filipina’s face. As it is listed above, you see how much it is going to cost your future husband just to get all the immigration related expenses just to bring you over. Not to mention, the miscellaneous expenses. Remember the quote “Money doesn’t grow on the trees”.

You Still Want to Marry a Western man?

You better ask your man if he ever laid his hand on his exes. I know it is tough question but you would want to know what would be his reaction on this. If you are going to United States to live with your man and marry him, you better gather all your family’s contact address and as well as you give yours to them. So in any cases, when you need help you will have someone to run to. It is better safe than sorry. There are so many abuse cases here in America. There are tons of women who are being abused by their spouse/live-in partner. They can’t leave due to kid’s situation or they have no family to run to. You do not want to be in this situation. Trust me it is ugly.

Your Man is Telling You that HE Doesn’t Want Any more Kid because he has kid/s already from previous marriage.

If you are okay with it, be honest to yourself. Just because he loves you it is not going to change his mind in the future. Most of these Foreigners when they say NO it means NO and they mean it. If you are young and you think you deserve to have a kid/s then DO NOT waste your time and his time. Move on to the next candidate who would provide you to having kid/s in the future. This is what is going to happen, he said so, and you said you are okay with it but deep down inside you want to change his mind in the future. Now you are married to him, now you are bugging him to give you a child he said NO. You know what is going to happen? This relationship is never going to work…D.I.V.O.R.C.E. is the result.

He Explained to you that once you get to America He will Not Let you get a job.

Really? If he is financially well off and he can provide you whatever you need fine! But you are thinking, how you are going to send help to your family back home if he does not want you to work. Let him understand, that this is your culture. As a Filipino, we always have a golden heart. We always look back and try to help our parents as much as we can. Ask him, if it is okay to work part time and that you would love to help him out paying your household bills as well as helping out your parents back home. Talk it out! But one thing you need to know. Not all foreign men are okay with Filipinas sending money to the Philippines. Especially, if you want to do so by monthly. Remember, you  and your foreign man will have your own life. You will have bills to pay, food, car note, mortgage, etc. You have to understand that your household bill’s comes first. Take note also, that if you just arrived all of that money your husband were spent on you on immigration related expenses might come from a lender which in this case, from the evil Bank and he might still paying it back with high interest if he has low credit score. So, take it easy when you just arrive. Study on how to deal on your finances situation. Do not think that your husband or husband to be would have an infinite cash flow. Nobody does!

Stay tuned…I will have more to say about this subject but for now I got to stop. I will update this list soon. Please add any comments!

Also, please visit this popular entry from John Korondy a Foreigner who is married to beautiful Filipina. In his blog he describes how it is like being married to a Filipina. Pls visit John’s site here ===> The Filipina Wife (update 5/16/2013)



Needing Help on Petitioning Your Fiance/e or Wife/husband? Click here.
How to Spot the Red Flags of Online Dating and How to Prevent It.
Reason for Marriage Between Filipinas and Foreigners
Philippines Fiance Visa Processing ( My Story!)
Fiancee Visa for Australia
A Little Help for Fiancee Petition
Adjusting to Life in America

YOU MIGHT LIKE:
Hot Topic for foreign Men and filipina women.

http://filipinaaz.com/2012/02/eye-opener-for-both-western-men-and.html

Why I Love Foreign Men.

http://filipinaaz.com/2013/04/from-filipina-womans-perspective-why-i.html

104 thoughts on “An Eye-Opener for Both Western Men and Filipina Women

  1. I am 1 of your followers. And like to seek your advise.My fiance filed a fiance visa last August 18,2011 and it was approved last Jan.17,2012. Then my fiance received again a letter dated Feb.1,2012 that they will forwarded it to Embassy in Manila. But till now I haven’t receive yet the pocket of instruction from the embassy. Hope to hear from you. God bless you.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    That is normal processing time frame from the time your petition got approved you can expect to get a packet instruction from US Embassy in Manila within 3 months. If I were you, start to gather your Barangay/Police/NBI Clearance, NSO Birth Certificate(CENOMAR=Certificate of No Marriage, Photo ID taken from Postal Office and passport. Because once it is approved, you will have no time of getting all this requirements. Goodluck to you and your fiance!

  3. Glad I found this website. It is a realistic approach since you do not take sides. I filed the Fiance Visa petition on March 2nd 2012 and so i am just waiting. I have been to Maasim twice in the past 7 months and i love it. I think she is serious because her family had a pig luncheon for me and her parents, Grand parents , antees, and uncles, nieces and nephew’s as well as co workers all attended. Yes , i paid for everything, and I send her some money each month, but I think she is sincere. Would she involve all these people if she was a scammer, or just playing me for a fool? I would like to know your thoughts. Thanks.

  4. I really like your in depth and non sided views of your blogs pertaining to the relationships between a Filipino and a westerner. I met my girl about two years ago and we fell for each other hard. We communicate all of the time, but since there is Facebook, Skype, and Yahoo, we tend to not send each other letters. I have, out of the goodness of my own heart and she never asked, sent her a little bit of money. But, mail wise, we only have about 4 times we have anything between us. A package I sent to her for V-Day 2011 and 3 times I sent her a little money. Not having letters between each other, I am wondering if this will affect us? I last visited her in Dec. 2011 and I will next be out there November of this year. I am just a step above paycheck to paycheck, so I do have to save alot. She knows all of this too. I was wondering what are the first steps I should take and also anything between now and the time I start the process, anything I should do to ensure everything goes smoothly. Thanks for your time and also your awesome posts!

    • Paul thanks for the great feedback! You are in the right path when it comes to building a relationship with your girl. But take note, any conversation online is acceptable. Just print them as your copy in case immigration will ask of any proof that you two are communicating. Also, keep the copy of the itinerary of your last trip or copy of your ticket showing your name. Take few pictures of you and your girl together. Everything should go smoothly. Last thing, you need to bring her as a fiance visa. Do not get marry in the Philippines as this may take a year or two for a spouse to come to US. Petition her as a fiancee and she will be here within 6 months to a year. Goodluck Paul.

    • Thanks again for the feedback. I was wondering what I need to do next. I have the I-129F petition forms filled out and I also have my G-325A. What do I do next? Do I send the forms in with a check? Is it possible to do it online? I am sure everything will go smoothly once I can get the ball rolling. I was out there in November and we had a blast. We went to Boracay for 5 days and had some water sports fun. Weather was great and every day was an adventure. I look forward to spending my days here in the US with Theresa. I just need a little nudge to get me going in the right direction. Any help would be appreciated =)

  5. i met a pretty filipino girl in a dating site. She is 30 years younger. I totally tried to discourage her due to the age difference but she kept insisting. And i felt and feel guilty about it. But she sounds so mature, even more mature than women in their 30s.
    I ended up taking a detour during a trip to china to see her. Happened again last month ( i am often in asia for work). She never asked for money or anything until after i met her the first time. Cried even that it was her mother, sister, who said they needed money to help them. Said I HAD to do it IF i truly loved her sister/daughter. i complied with $500. Lately she is pushing me to marry her. I started opening my eyes when, during chats some fellow kept calling her and texting her. She claimed it was a stalker. But the situation continued for weeks. So i started reading up in internet and landed now on your page.
    WOW! I am not young (49) but have lived in USA and Europe and have traveled all over. Even almost married a cuban girl once but was afraid she would take me to the cleaners. I NEVER EXPETED that from filipino women! But the more search i do in internet the more nasty stories i find. I would say, after two weeks of surfing i have found 99% bad stories! Is it possible that whomever is happy with a filipino girl does not comment or write about it? Or is it because there are so few such cases? I don’t know.
    I am in love, of that i am sure. And she seems so in love. But i have such strong doubts now! I met one filipino woman on internet. We became friends. just pen pal friends. She keeps warning me about all the bad women in her country. Tells me horror stories that i have had a hard time believing. It’s also because of her stories that i started surfing the net. I need some advice.
    My question is: can she be such a con-artist at 19 years of age? I know that some women are extremely good liers (so are men), but could it be possible that she is honest? She comes from a poor family (i met them) but she sounds nice.
    Maybe is it possible that everything is ok NOW, but will turn into a NIGHTMARE down the line? She also wants to have babies as soon as possible. I have never been married and long to have a family of my own. But i want a stable long lasting relationship. I am deeply attracted to asian women, but lately I feel so discouraged reading posts and blogs. I even thought about inviting her to my country where i live but have also read it is almost impossible to get a tourist visa for her. I wanted to try it out, see how she behaves, if she likes it, etc. But what i read in this blog scares the pants off me, especially the children bribery and the money situation. I don’t know what to do… please any advice would be welcome.

    • From (Rovers Maria)
      Miss Sender tell this to who sent you. Just like any country in the world there is always a con artist. He might have heard horror stories regarding filipino women but so as in western countries so many horror stories of their women as well. About his issue with the woman he met , tell him why don’t he take some risk. He is old enough to play a fair game. The woman he met, might have ask some money but it doesn’t mean he has to give in . She might have ask for money but it doesn’t mean she’s a scammer as what always on those horror stories about pinays . If he truly love the woman , he can test her , he can always say no regarding the money issue , in that way he’ll know if she do loves him not just because he is a foreign guy with money .

      (Gay Ann S. Wyness)
      Well i cant blame the guy f dats what he thought of us filipinas. we really cnt deny that some of us (not all) are juz using foreigners juz to get out of poverty, difficult situation, poor family or simply juz to get out of the country. i knw some young filipina who married an older man even f they dont love them..they juz planned it juz to get out of the country and wen they’re already permanent in that country they try to get rid of their hubby and find some younger guys. My advice is since he’s not getting any younger and wants to have a genuine relationship, he better get to know the girl properly, test her and tell him to take his time, not to hurry.

      (Allan Vaneaton)
      be in love, meet the family, ask permission to court thier daughter, all the things we did in the west, one, and i mean 1 generation ago, maybe only latley we went away from that !!!, if you know her family, you will know her, thats gunna work, i m happy but i met her mom, before i met het

      (Josephine Walsh)
      Only low percent of filipina are not to be trusted the rest of us are to be the most trusted,loving,caring and always can rely on,It is so hard to trust someone that you only know her thru online chat ,yes you met her just once or twice but is not enough to trust her,maybe you already have the sign that she cannot be trusted but you just try to ignore it because you have a feelings towards her,If you really very interested to have a relationship with her try to put all the cards on the table,tell her what bothering you be honest so she can explain it to you either in person or while you chatting..or maybe she is not the right woman for you ,they are lot’s of wonderful and decent filipina want to meet you ,don’t get discourage just keep trying you never know .wish you goodluck.

      (Ninie Myers)
      I cant blame the guy..since some of our co-pinay just use them for their everyday life.. i know a few of them..there are one pinay so far shes just 19 but she already got a 3 million worth of house and lot in one F.. then the other F bring her in asian tour.. then the one F she have now is giving all her material things lols lols.. but for me.. i dont care..its their own life..and i dont have anything to do about it.. my only opinion is that if you really love the girl.. then do courting.. try to get to know the family of the girl.. because so far so good..the lowest rate of divorce in us is american-filipina.. so go and take a risk.. live life.. since i can tell that mostly pinay are loving, kind thoughtful and family oriented..

    • (Jocelyn P. Balla)
      Well,to the guy sender: The age difference is a red flag to me for one…what are you doing with a woman este GIRL 30 years your junior?? As you had said you did your homework…you don’t have any reason to still get scammed. If it happens again to you, i would say it’s more of your fault. I still believe that there are still fine and dignified Filipinas out there…sometimes, you get deserve too. Goodluck!

      (Suyen Barcelon Armbrust)
      Try to get to know her,then you decide if you really wanna be with her.It’s unfair to all Filipina’s that some are doing stupid things and then judge it quickly becauce you read some blogs at the same time.Every person’s are unique in their own way either filipina’s,americans or any nationality.

      (Jocelyn P. Balla)
      If i may suggest, try dating or chatting ladies a little bit closer to your age…that way there is a lesser risk of being scammed. Though, i don’t agree with this scammers doing in the internet but i don’t like also men pointing fingers to one (women only) and act like your the poor victim. Remember,it takes two to tango…especially if you have more years than her. You are expected to be more knowledgeable and more experienced.

    • (Brian Suttling)
      Not all filipino girls are after money but unfortunately it only takes a few bad people to start the stories going around… I have met a beautiful girl who loves me for me and not money and I know of plenty more so please dont think they are all the same…. and she is 19 years younger than me….. All they want is someone who will love and respect them and will make them happy….. all I say is be a little careful and get to know the girl first but believe me, they are mostly loving and generous people

    • Hey Mike, I guess you saw my other post…
      Its going that I decided to give it a go and try to trust her, throw it all behind. If she is honest I have put her through hell with all my doubts and questioning. Had it been me i would have dropped it long ago if a girl had so much suspicion and my feelings were true.
      So we met a couple times since then, even took her out of the country once. Everything was perfect until the last day when she pretended I buy presents for her family and an expensive (diamond) ring for her… We made peace a week later and were going to see each other again, outside of her country, but she told me she needed 300 for her visa. I sent her $300 but next day, after cashing in, told me she meant 300.000 pesos or about $8.000…. She told me (true, I checked) that need a banck account with money to prove you can support yourself in another country. It is also true that sometimes a letter of invitation can suffice. I told her I could not send her that kind of money and she got real angry saying she deserved to be treated better and that I needed to prove my love to her… We did not speak for at least a week, during which she traveled to province (she always does when I send her money). When she came back she tried to make up, saying she did not want the money, not for her, but for her family, but it was ok if i did not send it. That the important thing is to see each other. I dont know but I was and amstill shaken by this latest event. I think that 1. she sould never have accepted that I send her that kind of money even if the misunderstanding on the 300 is true. 2. she should have said that it was better to wait a little so that I could travel to PH and not spend all that money.
      She has been crying a lot latelyause i am quite cold to her because of what happened. In reality, I am the one who offered to bring her with me to visit, it was not her initiative. She just went to Embassy and told me the requirements. What gets to me is that she thought that I just had $8.000 lying around! Why do they think we are all rich? I am confused more than before. We celebrated one year aniversary of being together the other day, eventhough only have met 4 times for short periods under a week. On one hand it sounds too good to be true, on the other she sounds so genuine. I also dont like her continue pressure to have a baby. Lately also to get married. I guess I will still try to wait before committing.

    • I met my filipina wife online in 2006. We married in 2008 and have been very happy ever since. 18 yrs difference between us. I had my first son born 6 days before my 55th birthday :-)
      I chatted a lot & got to know many many filipinas in the process. Always maintained honesty. Nearly got scammed a few times. I can tell you this with certainty. What she is doing to you now will only get worst if you marry her. She is expecting and asking for too much. A 19 yr old has no idea what life is about yet. Think back on it – how much did you really know at that age? Her memories are essentially of her childhood. Her expectations of you are in a fantasy land. There are so many wonderful filipinas out there that are honest, good well meaning girls. Stick to a gal a bit older that has lived life some as an adult. You have said mountains of truth in how you are so concerned – trust your instincts. Move on and soon you will find the right one.

    • To 8,000 lying around:

      I can’t believe you would continue this mess despite the fact that she already drain you out but then it is not my world. Once you can’t afford anymore to pamper her get ready once she is in US, she would leave you in a heartbeat for a richer man. I see this things happens a lot.

    • This is a lie: “she meant 300.000 pesos or about $8.000…. She told me that she need a banck account with money to prove you can support yourself in another country.”

      The Embassy does not require the girl to prove she can support herself. They require the man to prove he has sufficient income. Dude you are getting scammed. Stop that ‘relationship”!

  6. I just want to share, My mom who was a widower at age of 59 found a foreigner from Misouri 83 yrs. old, was widow and has no kids. My mom has her monthly pension from her husband (My father) benefits but not enough for her daily needs like her medicines. She was very poor. Until she met her husband at chatting room. Honestly, the F is not rich in his country but the value of his pension here are too big when purchasing here. They married here in Phils. and live a simple life. I can say that my stepdad got a wife, a caregiver and at the same time a maid..hahaha..He’s very protective of his money but he gave all what my Mom wants and needs but we the chilren are not included. (Actually, we 7 siblings are all married). Yes, it’s true that there are also bad filipino’s. So be careful when talking if money matters.

  7. Thanks for all the answers. I guess the real answer lies within ME! I am the only one who can decide. It is true that I SHOULD know better sice i am much older. But believe me when i tell you i have never encountered such problems. Actually, had it not been for the stories I read i would feel great right now. Because i was going on feelings and our looks in the eyes, etc. What appears to be love. I look at least 10 years younger than I am. honestly. Not that this changes things but maybe it changes her perspective of me (even though she does know my real age of course). Maybe I will take JOsephine Walsh advice and put all the cards on the table and ask her. Its just that i am afraid of offending her, of losing her. She is so sensitive about the issue, says she is not like the ‘other’ filipinas, the bad ones. She even put our pics on her facefook page and noticed there are no signs of scamming from there. Or maybe I should follow someones advice and look for someone closer to my age… but i did not ask to fall in love. Love cannot be decided, it just happens. One guy told me to run, run like the wind when he heard she asked me for money. But I am not so sure she is a bad girl. My biggest concern is the age difference. Maybe for her and me its not a problem today, but it will be in 5-10 years, or less. Thanks again for your replies. I am so confused on what to do.

    • (Yreehc Nosruoc)
      If you fell raw about it then end it.
      If they are asking for money now then they will keep asking for more. Learn how to say no. Don’t give her money if she truly loves you money won’t be a part of the conversation.

  8. i fully understand how you feel, bro…. I am 45 and my gf is 27.
    I fell hard, let me tell you. Never been this much in love in my entire life.
    And the best part – everything is just so perfect… too perfect it seemed… so i did my research and had the same suspicions…. in the end, no matter how hard I tried to find what was wrong – i never did find it. The problem was me, in my head. I’ve come to accept it and I am as happy as can be, blessed with a beautiful, funny, loving, caring asawa…. We’ve been together for about a year now. We’re having a baby…. I live in Manila btw – got transferred with work – and will move back to Germany next year. I met her family, she never asked for anything – I actually offered to help and am sponsoring university for her sister as I asked her to quit working and stay at home.
    My understanding is this: female likes stable husband and economic security. Even simple life in concrete house is giant step up the social ladder when compared to living in wooden hut in province. White is beautiful and babies will have nice nose and colored eyes – all friends are jealous – you are sooooo lucky… when in reality I am the one who is soo lucky to have found a loving younger wife with traditional valures, great personality and a broken bed…. lol
    Trust your gut my friend,I wish you the best. 30 years is not unheard of.

  9. Thank you Anonymous from Germany. Its funny, it seems that I am the worst enemy in this affair. In the sense that like you, and like in all long distance relationships, i have had some bad signals and some doubts besides being conditioned by blogs, bad stories, common sense, age difference. The fact of the matter is no matter ho much i try to find something wrong in the end i cant find it. Also cause i am so in love and cannot almost believe that i am so lucky. It sounds too good to be true. She is so understanding and accepting that i became suspicious. Also the fact that i am succesful at work (but in my country i am not rich) and fairly goodlooking probably makes her be mroe attractive to me. But that is normal. And it does not mean she is not sincere. I guess the only solution is take my time to get to know her, travel there and spend time with her and see how it goes. I guess I dont have much time and maybe i am also in a rush but i am so happy that your relationship worked out. I am trying to follow my gut, which says love, love and more love. But a dose of prudence does not hurt. i guess i am afraid that 5 years from now when i dont look so young, she will get tired and leave me… oh well thats a risk that only I can decide and would happen with any girl from any country. thanks again for your comments.

    • Thanks anon for leaving comments. I am glad you found a nice filipina. Please dont think that your girl will get tired after 5 years from now. So long that you show her that you really care, don’t be mean to her, don’t put your hands on her. Well, I could go on and on. Filipina loves an older men and that they are very loyal. Unless you give them a reason not to love you. Goodluck!

  10. i am 41 from oregon. i met online, a 35 year old pinay. she is a teacher for 11 years in the same job. i made the trip to spend with her. as i stayed with her in manila.I got engaged to her there. she was just herself. even though there was almost no hugging or kissing. i think i ungerstand her position as a respectful women. all her family is wonderful, though to mention her parents have both past. my only fear is if she will be affectionate physically, when she gets here?she knows i have no money at all. and is ready to tart her own life. as she has been like the head of the family .i think she is a virgin? but i would never ask. i just would like to know that she has never been mistreated by a man. now that it’s been so long. how do i find out if she’s been hit , or taken advantage before? it might be a good idea to know if she is a virgin before our wedding knight, for obvious reasons .???????

    • Mr Anon please read comments from these Filipinas below:

      (From Sarah Hamz Saavedra)
      Good day sir.. All i can say is that.. If you love the person u must accept everything about her.. If she’s been mistreated by the man before.. Well, past is past.. But since she is a teacher.. It might be, She’s still a virgin.. But the only person who can answer that question is ur girlfriend..
      Maybe she’s conservative.. Why not discover that thing on ur wedding night…

      (From Marie Garchitorena)
      I guess its very ungentelman to ask a woman if shes a virgin or not. being a teacher and not married for so long does not mean shes a virgin, we can never tell. and being single also for that long does not mean also she has traumatic experience on opposite sex. why not ask her in creative way if shes into a relationship before and how open she is in a relationship. im sure in that way you can get idea about her sexuality. well if your one kind of guy who has a tender loving touch, i guess it would be hard for you to get married to a woman who is cold as ice . dont worry if your not a rich guy, i guess she can understnd you that. best advice i can give to you is be open to her and ask her your concern and what kind a wife your expecting to her. so ask before you jump into a barren dry land lol !

    • (From Marlyn Makiling)
      You have mentioned that she is the head of the family, that is very common in the Phils ,they work hard to help their siblings and oftentimes they forget about themselves. She might be a virgin, maybe she’s waiting for your move? However it is true that it is very ungentleman of a guy to ask about virginity but you have to also think that you are marrying this woman, she’s going to be your wife. I don’t think there’s a nicer way to do it but you have to know. It doesnt hurt to ask sir. You should be open to her, like I said maybe she’s just waiting. Best of luck.

    • (From Josephine Walsh)
      You need to be honest with Her.ask question if really bother you that much, communication is very important how do you know someone if your not asking question of what’s going on,I am sure she will answer all the things that you want to know about her,you need to know her better before you commit a long term relationship or else you end up regretting later,just be honest ,talk to her she will understand ,You both mature enough .goodluck

    • thank you. i still have not brought up the questions of her past. it is not on my mind often. but from my experience from the past. women who have been mistreated tend to have problems with intimacy. we have talked a little about affections, and how it will be once she gets here. and she assures me of being affectionate towards me. i am in the process of getting the I-129 done and awaiting her biometrics in the mail. everything is wonderful. thanks for your input. great blog!

  11. From Agnes A. Agnes
    Ms. au, i have read ur blogs, and how i truly enjoy it, i spend a great 2 hours straight to read most of yiour blogs, ur writing prowess amazes me.ganda nyo pong magsulat. u capture the attention of your readers. m happy, to be reading interesting materila coming from u. count me as a fan po ms. au..Godbless u po….

    • Thank you Agnes. I’m so happy to know that someone somewhere out there love my writings. I’m just putting out what’s in my heart and hopefully through this blog people can find answers about Filipinas and Western Men. Thank you for visiting my blog once again!

  12. thank you for a great and informative article. it answered a lot of questions i had about marrying her in the philippines, and the cost of bringing her back here to america. i am just getting started with this relationship, 5 months, and although i did what i thought was a lot of research, i am convinced i know nothing but the fact that she meets all the requirements of a great catch. she refuses money gifts. she works. she is the most understanding and kind hearted person ive ever known. non materialisitic, she seems to only want me to visit her country. did i say how beautiful she is, by any standard? her modesty and humility almost border on sainthood. even though you are a very pretty woman, no disrespect intended, she would be just as, if not more beautiful than you, and thats beauty queen standard. i have taken all the things i have read into consideration, and i am compelled to take the chance, and go meet her and her 2 children. our age difference is 20 years and 4 days. im 57. she is a poor working girl with family ties as strong as my own. i wrote this to thank you for the information you gave here. it made me think, more deeply about my choice. im going!!

  13. My son is engaged to a Philipino girl. There are already red flags. They live together in an apt. and my son has only worked at his finance position for 2 yrs. but already she is demanding all the high end furniture, already wants a house and admits herself that she is “high maintenance.” He has supported her for 2 yrs. and finally she just got a job. But she doesn’t cook or clean and is basically lazy. My son comes home from work and has to do everything. He is literally exhausted, yet he refuses to see it. He is being blind-sided by her manipulation. She has commented to me, “I have my asian spell on Michael.” It worries me terribly my son doesn’t see it. HELP

    • It is difficult as a father to see your son going through situation like this but he is an adult and he needs to be allowed to make his own choices. You can not really decide for your son and the fact that you are not around to see what goes on. You can make your opinion or suggestion known to him and whether he accept it or not it’s up to him. Do not cause friction in your relationship with your son. Respect his decision and allow him to live with its outcome!

    • [admin milky]
      For me the best thing that you can do is to talk to your son calmly,.. and let him realize and decide for himself .your son is old enough to know whats happening .,dont ever tell him what to do or say bad thing’s about the girl or else your son will be disrespectful to you or u will not be able to see him again or your grandson .. for sure your son know whats happening he is just blinded with love to this woman .. Whatever would be his decision let him …i know you are concern but trust me your son will not listen to u but only to this woman ..

  14. I have the found the beauty, grace, dignity and close family ties with filipina ladies to be the most wonderful in the world..yea i’m partial as I’ve been married to amazingly wonderfull Filipina for almost 40 years now, we’ve been through hard times and good times, all along we we’re their for each other. Just to see her smile brings me such joy that it’s beyond words. We’ve adapted to each other so to speak through the years and I couldn’t imagine life with out her. So may all those looking for a Filipina wife, partner and companion in life, never give up as there are amazing ladies there who deserve love as well. And when you find the one, you’ll know in your heart and wake up saying “anak anang pating sobra maganda mo” :-) . Good luck to all..and to Filipina az your an inspiration to all.

  15. Good recap of the joys and pitfalls of Filipina-Western marriage/relationship. I would have liked to read some more about specific personality traits, like “tampo” and “I am shy”. Maybe the next post?

  16. your blog is a big help.. but sometimes so sad to think that western guys see us Filipina as Fucking dolls/machines… marry us for sex i dont know.. i am, dating western guy but seems i am lucky lol…

  17. I have sent an average of about $130/month for the last 12 months. Add to that the cost of traveling there from Europe 4 times + hotel, restaurants, gifts to her and ‘extended’ family and the bill adds up to over $10.000 in just one year. Of course, its MY choice, nobordy is forcing me. She even asked me indirectly, for $8.000 so that she could open a bank account and gor real crossed when I refused to send it. She accused me of being cheap and depp pockets, etc.! the nerve! The fact of the matter is that I realize that the majority of women there are in need of some ‘help’ and that does not bother me as it is a real poor country. What bothers me is the lies and the fact that if you are going to ‘marry’ into that society be prepared to have to support the extended family. Its going to be up to you how much you send, but dont fool yourself, you will have to send it – regularly. Then if you are lucky that is all that will happen to you and you will have a loving, charing, beautiful filipina woman at your side. If you are unlucky and she is only after your money, well, then I have a feeling it would turn into a nightmare, especially if kids are involved. I have noticed that ALL of her sisters, and I mean all 4 of them are separated (divorce does not exist in Philippines) with kids! all of them! this seems to be quite common. It makes me wonder about my future with a philippine woman… it seems so natural and common to get separated – imagine how much easire that would be if the father is a foreigner who can send loads of cash to support them while he lives miserably alone. I dont know, very risky.

  18. Bradley, I agree with you. Your ‘gut’ feeling told you something was wrong…. the problem is that you could not believe there could be sucha a deceit behind that person, any person. Same thing is going on with me, though I have no proof whatsoever of other men, just suspicions. She also has two FB accounts, but nothig really going on in them. She does have 1.100 fb friends but that is common among young PH women and men. There were about a dozen or so foreigners among them and she has since erased them cause she said she did not know them… Many other ‘signals’ like ‘the money is not for me but for my family’. Yeah right! Also, she will not have protected sex: says that I dont want children and therefore I am not her type of man.. its always a ‘bribery’ feeling i get. She even had her aunt call me on skype to ask me when I plan to marry her niece! I told her about the $8.000 story and she said ‘ u dont have to give so much, any amount will do’ hahahaha. I really hope I can find a real person. Or maybe just give up. I wish Philipines were not a poor country so that I would not have this suspicion that they are after my money. Maybe I will try the online dating again and erase any girl who asks for money even indirectly. To be honest she was the only one, probably among 100 who did not ask me for money. She asked me after about 3 months of chatting and after my first visit there. I was in shock. Seems like centuries ago and I have since dropped thousands of dolars, have lost track of it. It had gotten to the point that it was normal to send 2-300 dollars every one-two months. Now I opened my eyes after the $8.000 request. Wake up!

  19. Hello : I’ve been talking to my beautiful filipina for a year and a half. She’s never asked for any money and she’s 10 years younger than me. I’ve sent money thru western union only because I wanted her to have it. We decided we do not want to get married. We rather live together. But first, I’d like to bring her here for a visit on a B-2 visa. She just found her birth certificate and she’s currently getting a new id. She needs her id before she can get her passport. What do you think about this idea ?

    • Goodluck with tourist visa. It will be difficult for her to get visitor visa to US. She will have to show that she owns property. Have few thousand dollars in her bank account to show. A stable job to show that she will have something to return to.

  20. I met a filipina from Davao city about three months ago on filipina cupid.com. Very attractive filipina who works as an assistant finance officer for a private company. After only a few days she asked me to buy her a birthday cake…okay that’s fine, but then a few days later she asked me to buy her a cell phone, which she lost. In the first two months I spent over $2500 because she applied for a tourist visa and the fees and costs for her uncle who works at the embasay to process the paperwork. She was denied the tourist visa. Then, she got sick with dengue fever and I ended up paying the hospital bills for about 22000 pesos. In September I am supposed to go over to the philippines and marry her. I am worried because I think she might be lying to me and just scamming me to come over to the United States to get a green card and then she is gone. She is very beautiful and she says she does not have a boyfriend, but how can a beautiful women like her be single. She said to me I LOVE YOU after just two weeks of talking on the phone and emailing. I am scared at times. She is from the Surigao Del Sur Province. I NEED SO ADVICE. PLEASE HELP!

    • Mr. Anon Y. Mous,

      I am also feeling a little sick and my dog is color blind could you pleas help my dog while I suffer. The dog only needs $2000 for color corrective glasses. thank you…oh, and of course I will always love you….Don’t forget my twin sisters birthday is in a few weeks…she likes cake too.!

    • Have you ever skype with her? Do you ever see her on video chat? Do you really think that the profile on cupid.com is real person? If you haven’t skyping with her I don’t know why are you giving her money right away? She sound to be a legit Big time scammers. Stop giving her money and if you really think she is for real, you need to test her. Do not send her money for months. Do not fall for her scheme. She is a con-artist!

    • Mr Anon, I am going to post all the responses from https://www.facebook.com/filipinospouses members here.

      From:Beth Aguilar Soria
      OmG!! If the beautiful filipina loves you for who you are, she aint asked any pinny from you! I think she is scamming you only! And be careful in choosing the right one. She is just using you for her needs. The love we called, it wont cost any $$$.. It only cost by feelings and not demanding anything from you! Thats the real filipina.

      Replied:
      From: Sabeth Cahayag Abordo
      i strongly agree she is a total scammer!
      Anne Navarro-Gallup honestly..don’t send any money until you meet her in person..to be honest with you mr sender i meet my husband on dating site too..but i told him that don’t send me any money until you meet me in person and we fall inlove each other..yes my husband never send me money..becaused my husband was scam b4 as will same as place as that woman from Davao as will…so no money until we meet wen we meet we fall inlove we talk 24/7..then wen we get serious he send me money for support..until i came here in US…real love mr sender its not about money..find a real woman who loves you who you are..not love you because of your money….goodluck..

      From: Jen Baxley
      My husband thinks you’re being scammed. Her position would provide health insurance and visa fee is no where near $2500. I suspect she will keep having problems that require your money until your bank account is drained and then that’s when the arguments will start. Goodluck and look around there are lots of girls who deserve you

      Replied:
      From: Jane Mendoza
      The application for a Tourist visa is only $150 usd.
      Kath D Evans Your being scam my dear,poor thing just be careful, as you know this is happening in the entire world! is also happening in Australia as well most women here crying and devastated because they lost their houses,because of this scammers!

    • From: Tinz BlackMountain
      My husband just read your story. He’s an NYPD police officer he’s 100% sure that you got scammed. Since you sent her some money I hope you kept the receipts. You can file a civil suit in the Philippines. Some a**holes need to be taught some lessons!
      Replied:
      From: Gladys Gatchalian Maniscalco
      That if the person really exists !! She or he is probably using another person’s identity ! That idea is not far fetched since it happened before ..

      From: Rei Lee Chu
      Theres a lot of scammer now. sis Tinz BlackMountain pano mag file ng ganun.? kasi may tao ng scam samin.

      From: Richie Amarillo Hori
      Why pay 22thousand pesos for hospital bills when she has a nice job?, she must have a health insurance to shoulder hospital bills and if there’s an excees payable then maybe not 22K, that’s too much..she is a scammer, sorry to know that, Mr. Sender, i am from Davao also but i am pretty sure, she’s a scammer…please, next time, meet the girl first and her family..know her well first before giving any amount…

      From: Jane Mendoza
      Yeah I have a health card from my company.

    • From: Flor Feliciano
      I think you already know she’s scamming you. You’re just afraid to let that fish go. Don’t be a sucker any more Beth Aguilar Soria is right she wouldn’t ask for anything if she really cared about you. She just trying to survive off of your hopes and dreams of trying to find true love. Sorry to be blunt but you need a smack in the face to wake you out of your fantasy. There are plenty of sincere beautiful girls out there you don’t need this pos mirage w/her fake sincerity. Stop waisting your time. It’s so valuable you could make better use of that time and energy finding the right fish or with a good person.

      From: Jane Lagura Buniel
      I came from Surigao del Sur province. Not all pretty women has boyfriend. Most women in that province are a shy type. But if a woman saying I love you in just two weeks that is rediculous. And don’t send money to anyone except if she is your wife.

      From: Tinz BlackMountain
      I have heard so many stories just like this one. If I were you listen to your instinct.
      ” If it looks, talks, smell and walk like a duck then it’s a duck. ”
      If you really like her I can help you ” for free ” and check if she’s real or a fraud.
      My uncle is a private investigator in the Philippines. I can have him check her out for you. He was a retired NBI agent.
      Email me at cnm_lei@hotmail.com
      Will do my best to help.
      Good luck.

      From: Marie Garchitorena
      Its already giving you a signal… dont ignore it. shes not worth of your money , your time and your love. sorry i guess you fall from a wrong pinay.

      From: Leonor Jongenotter
      Don’t believe her mr.sender. If that woman really loves you, she would’t say “I LOVE YOU” to you directly in just two weeks of chatting. Asking money to you for a birthday cake, for her mobile phone and being hospitalized is just a false story. She’s just using you. If you would give her money, only if it is on your free will, and not on her command. Look for another filipina woman who would really love you not just because she wants to get a green card and live with you in your country. A woman who will love you from inside, not from outside. And most of all, NOT FOR YOUR MONEY.

      From: Gladys Gatchalian Maniscalco
      Asking you money all the time for many reasons when infact you just met? well I’m sure you know that is a RED FLAG so why did you send money to her anyway? Is it just because she is beautiful that you want to marry her? Sometimes LOOKS is very deceiving !!! How do you know that she is working as a finace officer in a company? Is it because she told you so and you believed her? The girl might not even be existing .she probably is using another person’s identity ,who knows. My suggestion is, if you can afford to have her investigated then do it …You need to know her full name ,address ,workplace, names of colleagues etc.. Or if you can do it yourself then go fly to the Philippines without her knowing and try to find out if she is real or not… A lot of foreigners have been scammed by these kind of people. Just be very careful when you go to the Southern part of the Philippines … Or the simple thing to test her, do not send any money even if she is telling you it’s emergency then you will find out if she ‘ll stick around…I’m sure you are smarter than her so don’t get her outsmart you!

    • From: Gie Ramirez Mowery
      Mr. Sender im one of the victim of scammer too, you believe it or not, im not a very beautiful woman but the scammer copy some of my picture in facebook because i never put private, and i have lots of different picture even with two peace, she use my picture to scam lots of guys she even put it in craig list. I know it because one of her victim from colorado usa message me and told me im a scammer, i ask why? And he told me everything he spend more than $4000, everything is all lais, he said the last time he send money to her $2600 for her tourist visa to come here in usa, she said to him she got rob,now i learn my lesson i make private my profile and i take it off all my picture, so please becareful of who you are talking too most of the scammer they never use thair own picture.God bless..

      From: Loubelle Bernaldo-Lee
      Real women never asks for money.. They will only ask for a real and sincere person to love and respect them.. So don’t waste time try to find someone else better. You don’t deserve a scammer.

      From: Kristine Saad-Bajilidad Estival
      Be careful sender,,,,get to know her first,know her family background,check her status,pure love is not all about money or material things,,,but not all filipina like that,,,maybe shr just want your money but not your love,,be careful,,,scammers everywhere…

      From: Rado Ginev Yup
      Lets all marry ugly mugs. Beauty 1st and if you are lucky, she will have a good personality. But looking at Marjorie i u derstand why she is saying this lol. @ Kath Evans, you make absolutely no sense, talking about women who lose their homes in Australia lol wtf. Back to the topic, she is really taking advantage of you mate. I suggest you stop being in contact with her, and try and find a good woman, be it filipina or not. Someone who will, love you for the person that you are and not for your money. All the best, and hope you sort yourself out.

      From: Joanne Marie
      If it involves money that’s totally a different story. Women like us who will meet a foreigner online and after a few days they will say I love you and then ask money we will believe that is a total scam! Especially if they won’t show their faces on cam! So if I were you Mr. Sender find the right girl for you who will never ask anything but your love and care. The time that I have started to have a relationship with my husband I never asked anything from him like gifts and material things not even a penny. He just started to send me money when we are already in the process of the petition. It was a year after we met. There are still a lot of beautiful women out there that are honest and will love you and would never take advantage of you. May the best of luck!

    • From: David N Dessa Halibas
      I feel sorry for you Mr.sender.That sucks you found a woman thats gold digger.That woman is obviously a scammer.If she has a nice job she will never asked you anything nor asked your money.A real love don’t cost a thing.Love can only proven when two people had so many trials and work of theyre problems especially when both couples are together in the same roof…I hope that you will realize that woman is obviously using you.Wake up Mr.sender don’t waste your money and times on that woman.You can find better than her and hopefully you won’t think that filipina are the same as her.Good luck

      From: Zandra Aragon
      To the foreigner.. You dont need to rush when it comes to marriage, sometimes what our gut is telling us is real so try to test her if you can.. Tell her the bad news that you got fired from your job and see if she supports you emotionally.. Second when she ask you for money, dobt agree to her, sice you got fired your savig.. Now if this woman loves you like she says she wont pressure you money wise.. How long have you been chatting? Have tried visitig her in the philippines? Before you process her visa you should clear your doubts by knowing her more.. Visit her and see her in person and see how and what she is in her province, is she boastful, materialistic etc??? U can also find out more about her if u do go see her, through family and friends perhaps? Be very careful sender, the way this woman sounds like is needy to me and maybe demandig in the long run and use her beauty against her needs when ur unwilling.. Good luck with ur decision..

      From: Dixie Oropeza Flores
      Thoroughgood You would really know if she is for real, tell her that you are really poor and that you cannot visit her soon because you have no money to spend. If she stopped talking or chatting with you then that means she is just a scammer. How old is this lady? and what is the name of the company she works for? What time does she talk/chat with you? Do you see her on webcam? these are the questions that you need to know and you will find out that she is a LIAR!!!! Better Luck next time… MOst of the Filipinas won’t ask anything at all.

      From: Eva Spicer
      22000k just for dengue?c’mon….maybe she gave birth?!?lol

      Replied:
      From: Smiley Miles
      Sorry Eva,I don’t consider the pinays doing here.just to let you know dengue is dangerous,it’s a life threatening & you can’t buy the medication in the counter.you need to stay in the hospital for couple days or a week you need blood transfusion Scan of your brain if its bleeding etc.it will paralyse the whole organ kung hindi ito maagapan.it is scary than what you think.

      From: Joyce Tan
      She is a scammer sender. Sorry you had to meet one. Delete all contacts with her.

      From: Ginskie Barnetson
      Huh?im from Surigao Del sur too maybe i know her?bwahaha send me her pics sender maybe i know her so i could give u a tips lol!

      From: Jean Rix
      Sorry to hear your story Mr sender you fall from a wrong person, she’s a big Scammer all she wants is your money. Next time be careful of choosing a girl and don’t give your trust right away.. Be more wiser this time ..good luck to you hope you find the right pinay that truly loves you

    • From: JO Walsh
      Maybe you should post her photo here ,you never know someone knows her in this page,lot’s of sisters here are from Davao City. be careful no more sending money.,

      From: Honestjess Padoga
      Oh no I feel ashamed to those pinay like her. Forget her mr sender she’s scammer

      From: Emmie N Terry Schwab
      Feel bad for you.but infairness to her why dont you go visit her but not to marry her but to get to know more about her.atleast in that case you will know from yourself if she is really deserving for your love or what.about the hospital thing,did she ever send you a photos that she was really been confined?you are the only one who can see the real her when you are together.you can feel it,you can see it in her eyes.goodluck i hope if she is not meant for you,you can find someone better.and yes i also dont believe she never had a bf,as you said she is pretty,unbelievable.goodluck Man.

      From: Jacqui Len
      That’s a scam. next time be careful. God bless you.

      From: Jocelyn P. Balla Scammer
      ..you’re lucky if you are communicating to a real female.

      From: Chelby Mendoza BIG SCAM!!

      From: Cynthia Victoria Bacas
      You can’t see the beauty outside but it is inside !move on and forget her she don’t deserve your kindness ,love and money or everything you have a lesson already and sign who is she really are mr sender you deserve a good woman to be your partner till the end of your life a good woman ! My ex bf marry a witch woman from Davao and he regret .so don’t wait the time comes to you to regret after you done you know from the start! Good day to you mr sender and good luck

      From: Reynalyn Gallarte
      Scam mr.sender be careful and be wise if she really loves you enough asking the money depends if u really to give her without asking..but after you give her the money few months she gone then back asking again the money with you..i hope u find the rght girl with you mr.sender

      From: Febe Cocosa Corcoran
      Oh dear! Run for your life mister! This is a very common story. She’s a scammer. Did you actually see her on cam or is it just pictures? If you only saw her photos then she might be using somebody’s photos. They usually use photos of attractive women to attract men. Next time don’t ever send money, no matter what drama these girls tell you. If they’re true they will continue getting to know you even if you don’t send them money. Oh that tourist visa money you sent? She pocketed it.

      From: Anne Taberao-Hopkins
      I know someone who got scammed by a girl living in Tandag Surigao del Sur. I do not know if this is coincidence but you can send me a private message and I will tell you her name, they could match.
      From: Lykah Didato Malawani
      ‘have u already seen her in cam? If that woman is the real she?
      She have a nice job but still she need money from other? Why she cant pay her bills in the hospital when she get dengue???
      U’ve been scammed by that woman.
      Forget her

      From: Jonnalyn Alonzo
      There is possibility that a beutiful women can be single but paying all those expenses is kinda strange.. it’s okay to help sometimes but there is always a limitation..you should have known her better..Goodluck..Godbless..

    • From: Vangie Bertels
      Sir in your letter first sentence she is from DAVAO CITY and the LAST sentence SHE is from SURIGAO DEL SUR PROVENCE..so i think the woman she lie with you..SCAM

      From: Marlyn Makiling
      Be calm. Be confrontational. Be honest. And explain your situation to her. Don’t allow yourself to feel like a victim.

      From: RobinJames MarydeeSheila Gulle Anderson
      I only asked my then bf for the visa application fees and other fees related to my coming over his country.. she’s too cheeky to ask you things (and much too soon!). reminds me of my husband’s ex-fiance who scammed him big time to almost bankruptcy.. yes, my husband also spent lots for her visa application which was refused. and the annulment before that, and the hospital bills for her, her father’s, her sons’.. and the house he bought for their retirement mortgaged/loaned without his knowledge.. pls don’t be one who’s blinded by the beauty of a Filipina scammer.. they’re really enchanting, are they not?

      From: Riza Makulit
      What a shame action of that Pinay. its very obvious she is just using you. Please never ever support the girl with out meeting first. They can survive with out any help from you believe me. you just help them to be lazy. very sad next time before you help Call the Doctor if its realy true. i had some friend had Cheated too from Pinay. Wish you luck to searching Pinay and God bless you.

      From: Anna E. Grahn Hey
      Sender,she’s a BIG FAT SCAMMER! So Git rid of her! If She truly loves U.,She never ask for any single amount of money. Gosh! Open ur eyes sender.Next time,Be smart in searching! Don’t believe nor fall in love immediately esp.when u guyz don’t meet yet in person. GOD bless U!

      From: Jonraquelcodyevan Miller
      It was a big scam mr.sender you should find another good filipina .don’t go davao

      From: Jeanalin Gallaza Masadia
      So very obvious sender,,, be careful to find a sincere one,,,, she’s scammer..

      From: Jann Schatzie
      Question: are you her bank account or boyfriend? Try stop sending money & see if she stills stick around, maybe that can answer your question. Good luck!!

      From: Reasy Endencio
      Im here single looking for love and marriage..

      From: Daisy Literatus McCarthy
      FIRST, you should questioned yourself , why she ask money if she had a good paying job? Second , application fee would not cost you $2500 and she even said she was denied , Think! think ! think ! You been con and absolutely taking advantage of your generosity . Forget her and focus on finding someone that really loves you for what you are and not for your money , theres plenty outhere waiting to be discover besides true love can wait just continue searching eventually the right woman will turn up . I dont know how many foreigners are victims of this con woman, all I say, karma will get her one day .. Oh! by the way, are you sure that this woman is a she and not a he? Well be careful and GOOD LUCK MISTER FOR FINDING MISS RIGHT

  21. Dear Anonimous,
    she is a scammer no doubt!! Stop all comunication with her and report her. I encountered many such scammers, asking for money, a new PC, money for operation, etc… after the second chat. More than one told me I love you and miss you after just two weeks. One, who would not show herself on video, would send me photos, retouched photos, until I found out it was a man! My gf on the other hand was the first not to ask money directly. She did it indirectly, after three months: “my family and friends dont like you…” why I said? “because you are cheap and dont support me”.I said: ” so, you need some money for your family?” She replied: “I am so ashamed: yes, its for them.” 8 months later I have sent close to $2.000 which is ok for me, but not for her, since she expects much more, stating that I have never sent anything, never done anything for her family…. I dont know what to make of it. Guess I will wait it out and see what happens.

  22. I’m married to a Filipina and thought I’d share my experience and observations. We (10 year age difference) have been married for over four years and have two kids. We met on a website with lots of Filipinas and foreigners seeking mostly Filipinas. In hindsight I may done things differently because I wasn’t married before and was eager to get married and have kids. Be very choosy with your criteria for marriageable women (I had 400 women contact me) because you can only marry one anyway, it’s a major decision and divorce doesn’t help kids. The week before I was going to make a final decision on whom to marry, my Mom died which left me depressed for a key month and it cut short my desire to write to more women and I stuck with the Filipina I had already wanted to meet. My advice is to take your time and postpone your trip to the Philippines if necessary if you’ve had some recent major trauma in your life. You want to be in control of your decision making and have a clear head. Once you’ve made a decision, double check for any other women who meet your criteria and then meet at least two women in the Philippines just to eliminate any doubts on your future wife. I didn’t write, call or meet any other women like my future wife and now I wonder if I would have been happier with either of the other two women who had great profiles. Since I wasn’t an embittered divorced guy looking for a submissive woman, I went for an educated woman who was getting a RN degree telling her “I have no problem with you getting a job and I’ll exploit your job skills to the fullest.” We met in Davao and I met her family in Central Mindanao. Once I got back to the states, she asked me for $10K to pay off nursing school and the loan sharks who gave her family the money for college which she never mentioned for 5 months. I know some would be screaming “SCAM” but it proved to be a good investment as my wife starting making around $40K/yr. once she passed her exam in the states. One big wild card is how things change when you start having kids. Most guys rarely mention their mixed American-Filipino kids or don’t have any kids I guess. They will put a serious strain on your time and expect your dutiful Filipina wife to nag you into doing everything for them. It’s great that family is important but I wasn’t raised in a family where my parents hovered over us. It may be because I was raised with 4 other siblings but my Dad didn’t interact much with us beyond what the stereotypical working fathers of the 1960s and 1970s did. Sending money home isn’t an issue as we don’t send much money to the Philippines and my wife makes enough to warrant making her own decisions though I’m better at managing money than she is. Lastly, the American embassy in Manila is staffed by fools. My legally immigrated wife and American born kids can’t meet their own Filipina grandmother unless all of us fly to the Philippines. The idea of buying four plane tickets for around $6K and traveling with a 1 and 3 year old for 28 hrs didn’t bother the moron who refused to grant my mother-in-law a tourist visa to visit us. I was shocked and ashamed that our country has such mixed up immigration priorities that I’m sickened by illegals complaining about separated families and granting visas to people that hate America and others living on welfare getting multiple entry visas.

    • Hello there Anon,

      Thanks for stopping by. Just like you I am sickened of the immigration rules. They let those illegals become legal without have to go through such a long wait and excruciating process. Not to mention, the fees and red tips yet they allow these illegals to stay and even received welfare, medicare, and they even received free housings benefits.

      I am US Citizen myself, yet I can not bring my 74 years old father as a tourist visa. I wanted to have him visit me because I know he won’t stay long and tourist visa would suffice for his short stay. But I can not take chances of spending lots of money for a tourist visa only then to get decline or deny by it. So instead of applying a tourist visa for him I went the other route. I petitioned my dad as an immigrant which would get him approve I hope. I am still waiting, it has been 4 months since I turned my petition in and still waiting to hear from the immigration.

      Anyways, congrats to you and I am happy to hear about your choices. Contact me if you need some coaching on how to bring your wife’s mother to come Live with you guys. Thanks.

  23. I am a Filipina and I really want to marry a Caucasian. And before others start giving me those entire BS, please hear me out.
    I have been trying to look about articles on Filipinas marrying foreign men and all I read are crap! I’m so glad I finally read one which isn’t.
    But hey, can others really blame Filipinas if they want to be practical and they want to have a good life? And I believe that marrying a Caucasian will give me good life especially if I marry him for the right reasons and that does not include money.
    I totally agree with this article. No decent Filipina should ask a foreign man for money whatever noble reasons she gives. It’s a sign that that particular Filipina is a scammer and once a Filipina starts doing that, you should immediately go run to the hills!
    I have this belief that marrying a Caucasian will give me a good life because I have the chance to leave the Philippines and live abroad. I mean, it’s not that easy to live in a third world country! I will have the chance to practice my profession there and at the same time have a beautiful husband with me. Isn’t that awesome?
    So yea, I think it would be wonderful for a foreigner to have a professional wife and let her work in his country. They can pay their bills together! And of course, since the foreign man should never give his wife money for her to give some to her families, then that’s another reason that he should allow her to work and have a career. At least, she can still support her family even if she’s abroad. Cos really, Filipinas are forever family-oriented so just give her that benefit.
    But then again, bringing a Filipina to your country does not give any foreigner the right to treat her like a whore-maid. Tsk, I am treated like a princess by my family all my life so all those foreigners out there generalizing that Filipinas are “good cooks, good house cleaners, and good maids” should stop their daydreams right now. Cos there are lots of Filipinas like me who do not know how to fucking cook!
    But hey, Filipinas will not be the only one who can benefit from this union. If you’re smart enough, you should know by now that Filipinas are loyal by nature. We never practice fornication. Well yea, some of us do but then again, make sure you end up with the right woman and not with a scammer.
    Good luck to all practical Filipinas out there and all those decent men looking for Filipinas as wives!

  24. Aww.. this is a great post. . I’am 19 and ever since I was a child I’ve been dreaming of marrying a caucasian specifically guys from London.. it’s not about money actually, cause most of the time I heard or reads some article on the net that Filipinas marrying a foreign guy just for money yes, there are some but they should not generalize the case not all filipinas.. I was still a child then 6 years old when I was on my Grandfather resort in Palawan island most of the guest there are white men the way they talk to you and treat you is really sweet and gentle. and take note the appearance blonde hair and blue eyes and being so tall really attracts me.. and I have two aunt that was married to a Swedish and the other Breton and a cousin who was married to american. they seem to like our family that much and they are so sweet my aunt told me that what makes their foreign husband in love with them even more is that they were virgins! my cousin was still a virgin at age 27 and her american husband just cant believe and totally give his full trust to my cousin I dont know why how’s virginity connects to loyalty.. that’s why me too I’m saving my pureness for that deserving guy.. but I would rather meet that guy in his own country than here in the Phils. so he won’t think that I’m just for the money.. :) )

  25. I was amazed how this matured gentlemen got confused unfolding deceit, cheat, scam from their Pinays girlfriends. Ah, emotions can really affect one’s mental disposition. I for one can attest to that. My man for 2 and half years broke up with me. The shallow reason of long distance relationship doesn’t work for him coz of distance, time, effort and love ain’t enough. After a year or so of everyday chat over Skype, FB and YM, he decided to join me when he lost his job and his divorce paper was handed to him. He wants to try his luck over my workplace which is outside the Philippines. I welcomed him with open arms as a sign that he really cared and loved me coz he travelled 8k miles away from his home base. But alas and behold, I found out that he had nothing in his wallet but 5 dollars and minimal amount in his passbook which he didn’t want to spend it here. Do I have to send him back home? I accepted the situation and provided him with whatever necessary for him to live a good life. He tried to find a job but as a stubborn American who doesn’t heed to my best friend and my advice on how to land a job over here in desert region, he failed to get one. He pushed his way until no time left for him but to decide if to stay or not. His duration of stay is only for 4 months and so he opted to go back and start a new in his mother country. He convinced me to process my papers and follow suit but I have dilemma of the real intention. I am apprehensive of what to happen if I relocate. Will I be the one to give him free ride again as what had happened here? It seems I am buying my happiness which is uncalled for. I was oriented that it’s my man who will be responsible for me and our family. How can I send money home coz he objects to the idea? Where will we live, in his rented shop without shower and electric heater? How can we survive? Will I go down the rabbit hole with him? Whereas, I am living a comfortable life here with amenities, budding career and a good paycheck. So I delayed my plans which he perceived as a sign that I am not interested in coming over. Then, he started looking for someone who can scratch his itch as he explained he was at the edge of depression living alone. Can men live without physical contact/comfort for a few numbers of years? Well, he can’t, so he find someone before cutting the ties between us. The truth is, I am on my way to US by the end of the year without letting him know so I can test his patience to wait for me as I have feeling he is just using me as his potential milking cow coz of my profession which he viewed that Nurses are paid big time in the States. I never had asked money from him nor he volunteers to send, well, it’s understandable, he can’t afford as he was earning minimum wage in 40 hours a week which he said cannot cover up a decent living condition. So, aside from his needs, he wanted someone who can help him with his financial constraint but sorry for him, he let loose of me. I can share with him what I have coz I realized that’s what couple made to be. Helping one another and work on a common goal. But too late for him to learn about this, he thinks only of his self security. So, who says only Filipinas took advantage of white skinned people for their betterment. Mine, is the opposite. They can be cunning and shrewd too. Lucky are those who find their match. To each it’s own destiny and fate. Hopeful, this experience can be an inspiration.

    Thanks for the write up… More power to you..

  26. Two and half years later your man has been divorced, lost a job and hoped to find a job in the Middle East (?) while living with you. Now he’s back home living on a minimum wage. That’s not a good track record for him but do you already have nursing job offer in the U.S. and a work visa? The hiring situation is getting here but there’s still a lot of nurses looking for work but your experience should help vs. new graduates. POEA exec: With ‘no new grads’ policy, future of Pinoy nurses in US seems bleak http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/290580/pinoyabroad/news/poea-exec-with-no-new-grads-policy-future-of-pinoy-nurses-in-us-seems-bleak. Since you’ve already broken your relationship, there’s no reason to stick with this guy unless you can’t get a work visa and he may your ticket into the U.S. market but then again there are other men out there who may have fewer problems than your ex-boyfriend.

    • Thanks for the advice. I know, there are a lot of fishes in the ocean. There is always hope that God always give chances to bring back smile again. I have a lot to be thankful for, my family which matters most more than anything, my career and my friends. A lovelife is a bonus. And, i wouldn’t mind getting involved with another white skinned gentleman but i will be cautious this time. Cheers!

  27. Thank you for such great unbiased information, much better than most of the posts online and very helpful. I recently got engaged while visiting my girlfriend in the Philippines at the time and we’ve began our K-1 petition. Still early on having only received NOA1 a couple weeks ago but very exciting. The only concern is when to bring her 3.5 yr old daughter over to the US. I’ve known for the first day I met her she has a daughter and has never been married. I have no problems with that and love her for who she is and love her daughter as if she were mine. Her daughter currently lives in her providence with her Aunt and has for 2 years. My fiancee lives in Q.C. working at St. Luke’s and feels it’s better/safer for her daughter to remain in her providence which I can understand.

    Here’s where we disagree. I feel it would be best for all of us if her daughter comes with her. I understand it will be a big adjustment moving her for both of them but feel the younger the child lives with us the better for our families future. She thinks it would be better to wait 1-2 years so she can adjust here and find work. I’ve let her know that I don’t expect her to have to find work, at least not for some time, and that she could stay home with our daughter. I can understand her wanting to adjust here first but just feel it would be better if we started off all together. My biggest concern is that she also says she thinks it will be very hard on her Aunt when her daughter leaves since she’s raised her for 2 years. I understand that will be hard but to me I feel it will be that much harder in another 1-2 years as she grows older and views her Aunt as her mother figure. I understand she can come within 1 year of my fiancee arriving on K-1 as “follow to join” without having to submit new petition but still feel having them come together is the best option.

    Guess I’m just looking for any thoughts/opinions on this subject. Ultimately I know it’s between her and I but was wondering if anyone had any past experiences positive/negative? Thank you.

    • First off, did you put your fiancee daughter’-s name on the application? if so, then I guess if her desire she wans her daughter to follow a year after then it should be fine. You guys need to enjoy the first year without her daughter to see if you really would be comfortable with fiancee. It might take time for her to adjust. I’m sure within few months she would want her daughter to follow soon.

  28. I’m kind of hoping for free advice and maybe some random acts of kindness, but I wanted to present my situation and ask a few questions. I thoroughly enjoyed the article above article, and I certainly appreciated the wide array of experiences in the comments section.

    I have the beginnings of a similar situation by the last poster. I met a woman online about 4 months ago (on a regular chat site, not a dating site). The chemistry between us was almost instantaneous. Our senses of humor match up, our personalities are so similar it’s scary, and we both wanted to say “I love you” after the first week of Skyping. I’m 31, divorced, and have a pretty good concept of what love is. This is love.

    We agree on most hypothetical situations about the future. I have met her parents and her 5 year old son (father is out of the picture) on Skype. I adore her family and they have given me permission to basically court her.

    What’s working against us?
    -Impatience. When we want something, we want it as quickly as possible.
    -Her income. Because she is poor and young, she has already been rejected for a tourist visa (last month).
    -My vacation time. I have set vacations, so I can’t plan them at convenient times. If any crisis pops up, I can’t travel or travel for very long.

    What’s working for us?
    -I have some money saved up where I could pay for a couple of trips right now.
    -She is in between jobs right now, so she is flexible for the moment and might even be willing to leave a job for a chance to see me.
    -We click. We are in love, and in all likelihood, there’s nothing major that would surprise us about the other after spending hundreds and hundreds of hours on Skype and being brutally honest about our lifestyles.
    -Our intentions are pure. We know we are in love but we both realize we need time together and time, period. We just want to be with each other for a while (even if we both feel like we’d be headed towards marriage if we lived near each other).

    What can we do to better ensure a tourist visa application approval? Will an affidavit of support, my banks statements, and her son’s birth certificate and pictures (to show her ties to Philippines) be enough to sway most consulars?

    Secondly, a year or so down the line, how big of a problem is it with the embassy when applying for a fiancee visa for her and to have her son come with her?

    Any info, advice, or random thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks so much.

    • Phillip thanks for stopping by.
      Here’s I would do If I was you. If you really care for her and you think she is the one for sure then a fiancee visa petition is better and her and her son so long she is not married to the guy as you know there is no divorce in the Philippines and annulment can be so expensive and long drawn out process and very discouraging. Also, to be able to be qualified you have to go and meet her in person. It is one of the requirements before you can begin processing the papers. Forget about the Visitor’s Visa if she was denied the first time it would’t change a thing the second time, she will still be denied. If you need assistance on this lemme know. Pls read my other article about my service http://filipinaaz.wordpress.com/

      Goodluck.

    • From: Donna Guintapa
      Tourist visa is not advisable since it will always be denied. Lucky are those who are able to go to the US without problems. Fiancée visa is easy and the waiting period is 6-8 months and then she can come in the US. Bringing her son is not an issue as long as he is included in the petition as K2. You have to meet in person to comply the requirements in applying for a visa. Visiting her for 10 days is okay if that is the only vacation you have.

      From: RobinJames MarydeeSheila Gulle Anderson
      i think you should come visit her to get to know her well in person. spend time with her (at the same time take pictures and save all those receipts from day 1, your tickets, hotel accom, food trips,receipts of things you’ve given her,etc= i assure you these help as regards to evidence gathering). i’m not sure about kids coming with mum, i’ve no idea. where are you from if i may ask? i didn’t have problem with my visit visa application coming to the UK (maybe because i was working in the government and had all the papers that showed i have some reason to come back and my then boyfriend has visited me 3x when i was in the Phils). visit her first, be it just 10days or so, then you start from there. TAKE NOTE: no matter how much you feel like knowing her, you won’t ever know anybody well enough unless you’ve been in one roof for a month or so.. and my husband said: “watch your wallet!” good luck dear!
      p.s. no matter how good and genuine things seem to be between you two, it is a common trick used to lure ‘wealthy westerners’ and pretty soon the requests for money start. If it does, I would suggest that is the time to back away. I didn’t, and paid a price! Robin (Marydee’s husband).

    • From: Jen BloodOrchid
      Unless the girl has enough funds then she will get tourist visa. The fact that she is in between jobs meaning unemployed at this time then she wouldn’t get a tourist visa. You have to be careful, meet them in person and see how they are in real life. It’s easy to say things men want to hear but when it comes to reality it’s another story. Meet them and see how it’s like to be with them.

      ============================================================
      From: Ces Persons
      Tourist visa is out of the question. If you want to spend time with her before you go further (marriage), you can apply for a fiancee visa and son included. At least 6 months waiting for the visa to approve. I think she will have 3 months to decide if she wants to marry you or not. If leaving together and you both decide to separate she can go back (option). Sounds like you are both in love. Happy for both of you!

    • ============================================================
      From: Jasmine Dammeyer
      As previously stated, forget the tourist visa…. and keep communicating and wait for your vacation and go meet her. It’s a requirement for the fiancee visa anyway. By then, and after your visit, if you both still feel strongly about marriage, apply for the fiancee visa. Having already experienced this, I can tell you that impatience isn’t going to match this process well. On the upside, you will get to know your gf a lot better over the next year, and you will have a much more informed opinion by the time she arrives in the US I met my wife in June of 11, and she arrived the the US in Sept of 12. Yes it was a long wait, but that just made it that much more amazing when it came together. So keep your skype close and good luck, Marcus

      ============================================================
      From: Ako Si Kuya J
      Been there done that… go visit her again and gather much as prooofas u can then when you are ready for finances… petition her as fiance visa along with her son…

      ============================================================
      From: Mari Lou
      Go to the Philippines first meet her then return to US apply for fiancée visa

      ============================================================

    • From: Malditang Kikay
      Dont rush things coz some filipina/american marriages having difficulty in marriage coz dey thought dey know each other but dey reli dont. So,take you guys time.

      ============================================================
      From: Nathan Derouen
      Sorry for the proofread , cause I didnt ..lol wrote it on this crapy galaxy s touch . So any wds out of place please excuse.
      How long have u kbiwn her ? Im not going to doubt ur live for her or the authenticity of the relationship or her motives . I would like,to add though im 32 an divorced an now been married again to a really smart an beautiful filipina also has a beautiful son by her doesnt change most alternatives women here in the philippnes have , an thats to marry foreigner an get out of there current life situation for a future better then offerd at birth . Look close to the many fake profiles frm filipinas as they all read abt the same , shows innocence, fun , outgoing , no drama , and all r in skul as nurse or something common or they didnt finish . Iv learned over the yrs an many ppl iv meet that even there maybe girls with good intentions to be awear of the heartach and tym it would cause u if by chance she was apart of the many women that prostitutes there selfs out as a person whom takes advantage of foreigner men a drain money an tym from them to provide a life better to there own . I dont judge them as if I was in there place I think even I would sell out and mislead foreigners to advantage of to provide for may family also . So understand even she will sound like ur perfect match an everything feels right that this is there training an ofcorse woyld be very hard to determin her from some female with motives of taking u for a better life while u work hard for ur miney an support her an her family she never truly loved u . So dont take my word , even my aunt is filipino , so is my grandma an friends , whom all confirmed what iv seen but for u to self discover on ur own before making any true lyf long commitments . If u have any questions hit me up , an good luck as to all deserve a real love an to the plastic ones , ur right no one can judge u , but one day remember u will be ! In retrospect I was lucky to find a wife who is none of the above other then she has enough pride , an is proven to be self motivated , has a great heart when its in the right place, super funny , an a gud mom , I miss her , but time is a destroyer and healer . She will always,carry my heart . God Bless to all .

      ============================================================
      From: Jen Cee
      Tourist Visa is almost impossible to both of your situations.

      ============================================================
      From: Lyn Castillo de Levie
      In your situation mr sender FIANCEE VISA is the BEST CHOICE AND FASTEST way to bring your girlfriend and her son over the U.S.

      ============================================================
      From: Diana Sabas Hermansen
      You need to visit her first to prove in immigration that your intimate interested on her. Then you Can either marry her in the Philippines or apply her a k1 visa once you come back here in us.

    • ============================================================
      From: Rojean Apostol Prazmowski
      As they said tourist visa is not an advisable option. I’ve been rejected twice for a student (same as tourist visa) because i didn’t have enough money to show to the consul officer and enough proof that i have a strong ties back in phil..After that 2nd rejection since my husband and i love each other we just decided to applied for a fiance visa and got married in no time just to be with each other ….my advice is visit her in the Philippines first , take a lot of photos, maybe plan for an engagement party for the courtesy for the parents and that will be enough evidence for a fiance visa….permanent visa is always advisable rather than non permanent ….good luck..

      ============================================================
      From: Jonraquelcodyevan Miller
      tourist visa its very hard to get mr.sender. the most quickly to get base what i heard to all my friends is fiancé visa much quicker.or try to visit her in philippines so atleast you guys have a alot of proof of communication to show in embassy ..:

      ============================================================
      From: Wendy-Buzz Flick Hi
      sender..kind a interesting story you got. Yes, tourist visa is really hard especially to a woman with a kid and married before. She’s annuled? Well, i know it will help you and answers your questions if you look online http://www.uscis.gov.. those affidavit of support and stuff you will need them on her interview part of requirements. goodluck.
      USCIS Home Page
      http://www.uscis.gov

      ============================================================
      From: Madelaine Grace
      mr.sender..i have the same situati0n with your fiancee..i wish s0meone here could advice u..GOd bless and Goodluck!

      ============================================================
      From: Malditang Kikay
      You can never tell who are u talking too unless you see them in person and have a feel for them. Tourist visa is very likely not to be approved even u will show all your assets. Fiance visa is the best for both u guys den wen u apply for that visa besure dat u’l put her son’s in all the documents so der will b no hassle. Anyway, have u met ur gf in person? I would suggest that you should visit her so that you have evidence wen u apply for fiance visa. Anyhow,goodluck to both of. Hope everything will come the way u guys wanted!!!
      Be sure she is the one sender because there will be too much beaurucracy wen u start filing the fiance visa, As my husband said,he would never ever do the fiance visa process again… Tc ang Goodluck..

    • I want to thank all of the people who spent their time and effort in replying and giving me advice. I will try to answer some questions asked in case it helps any of the posters further their responses.

      My Filipina, long-distance girlfriend was never married. Her son’s father and she were together for a while after the birth of the child, but he had a wandering eye, cheated, and has not been in the picture for two years.

      I live in Oklahoma City, OK, USA.

      My girlfriend has been pretty forthright and honest throughout. I found myself coming up with more “I agree” and “Me, too” statements when talking to her, so I don’t believe she was ever trying to change her image or outlook to fit my ideals, nor do I think she has put out a contrived image of herself. Like I said, we video chat all the time and I have met her family through there, too.

      It looks like the majority here firmly believes I need to take the visit to the Philippines first because a tourist visa just isn’t happening. My options are to try to expedite the US passport process for myself somehow (I believe there are companies that do this) and set up the trip in the next two weeks or wait until December.

      Please send my thanks to those who responded.

  29. I want to ask your opinion. If a pinay is a breadwinner, has 2 brothers and 1 sister, and 2 kids a boy and a girl ( solo ina). still have both parents and one lola. 1 brother already left the house and has his job and his own life. One still depend on her. 1 kid, the boy just enter daily care because she said he can’t afford to sent him to school yet. She pay for her sister education…her sister is about…9 years old.
    Has 2 aircon, has 1 internet connection.
    I want to ask you, if her life is a typical life of a pinay who said she had a hard life. Or she just trying to scam me?
    Thank you

    • Jass please read below and thanks to the member of https://www.facebook.com/filipinospouses

      From: Ces Persons
      If u ask me what hard life is, i would say harvest rice or corn, maglalako ng kung ano ano. No AC, no internet and don’t even have a computer. That is not a typical life of a pinay in my own opinion. Wow she has a good life lol..

      From: Jen Cee
      Mga sissies, please don’t call the girl a user, we don’t know her yet.. Let’s refrain ourselves from inflicting too much criticisms on others based on a one sided story.
      Jules Bu Im not sure but a hard life doesn’t have two aircon no internet in the house, what is she doing for living by the way?

      From: Arsevel Cruda Masepequina
      Hmmm even though that’s true it’s not your responsibility to feed her entire family. They need to go to work to support their needs. That’s all.

      From: Lyla Dee Hello
      Sender, follow your guts if you want to help this Pinay or pursue relationship with her. In my opinion, her life is hard and she will do anything to get money if family is her top priority. If you will pursue her and marry her, are you willing to perhaps take care of the entire family? If you are very rich and does not matter about money, then go ahead. If you are just a normal, average man, stay away from women like them who has an enormous baggage of responsibilities. In my experience, when I was single, I was also one of the breadwinners in the family. When I met a European man, and we got engaged, it came to a point in my life that I must let go of my sisters and stop sending them money or helping them financially. I choose to save money for me and for my future family. Now, if you can convince this Pinay to choose you, then pursue her.

      From: Leiann Sinco
      I think you better know her first… sometimes not all woman is honest .. some are users.. jst be sure if you really want a relationshio with her.. accept it.. if u think that she is using you to gain something.. think about it…

      From: Marie Garchitorena
      I can say a typical filipina is someone trying to make both ends meet, shes smart and wise enough to find her resources to make a living and maintain her lifestyle that she has . our way of living here in philippines in your eyes as foreigner maybe embarrassing ( family members living in one house or family members lving close by to help each other ) but this is who we are. we love and help our family members to sustain his or her life in small ways help we can. having internet connection and having ec, i guess it not fair to defined her as scam woman…. NOT UNLESS SHES ASKING YOU SOME MONEY. i was once also a single mom before i got remarried, for me to be able find a living , i get my niece to be a babysitter to my daughter and a nephew to live with us too for running some errand, yes i do have little comfort in life , have internet connection , working freelance as loan agent ( i do still now ) i help also some cousins financially if i have extra . i can say im a typical filipina who strive to survive and help others. does it defined me as a scammer? no im not !

      From: Victoria AlexandraIvory Elizabeth
      If a poor people she cant afford to pay for an Internet connection even the electric bill for her air conditioned..I bet she no good person but drama A queen and user..a good person will not ask neither says that she’s poor if she is good and had a principles in life..she will be the one to find a solution to get out of her problem not the other people by using them..dear sender she is just a user and a gold digger there are alot of people who are like that now a days. .never send money to anyone if you haven’t seen them in person and you better know them better and have a background check first..in

    • addition to that we have a public school’s in the Philippines who are free nor not that expensive if she can afford to pay for the interne t connection she can pay or give donation in the public school because its a free education. .I taught high school and college students in the Philippines a
      Before and my mother was a retired teacher in elementary. .a liar like her is difficult to believe. .find another one..background check is important

      From: Cher Cruz
      Typical life of filipina????…. breadwinner?? can be, but how she pays everything???…. If she has good and decent job with good salary, then might be… but with 2 AC, hmmn.. plus other appliances at home, internet, schooling of sisters, food and other basic needs.. and she’s working alone but manage to pay all of them… that’s definitely not having a hard life, she just had lot of responsibility in her shoulder… And money wise, if she’s working alone for the entire family… remove the AC, use fan instead so save the money instead paying it for electricity… hehehe!!

      From: Jen Cee
      a hard life but with aircon?is it working?that’s not a typical hard life for filipina.. I don’t have AC,but I have fans,My dad was gone since I was 18, my mom has some health trouble, I am the breadwinner.but no, I don’t think I have a hard life right now.I can eat 3 times a day, buy things i need , have a job and sent my brothers to school.I was from a poor family though.Maybe your girl don’t really know what a hard life is. She have high standards about a good life.

      From: Lyla Dee
      is right, if you think you can afford it, then follow your heart, but if you are just an average hardworking guy, who sometimes have troubles with bills too, then follow your brain

      From: Ces Persons
      i was wondering who paid for all of these material things she had, is her father had a good job? Her mom? Who?? Shes working right??

      From: Joahnna Wilson
      Hard life e… ROFL… how can she afford to have two AC ???lol… if they are using both aircon I’m sure she’s paying thousands for electric bill… wth!!

      From: Matet Besana Perlas
      helping our family/extended family is typical pinoy but having 2 aircon & internet connection,NO shes not having a hard life obviously!

      From: Razel Cambare Gettman
      She don’t have hard life sender . She had headache paying the electric bills. …. Be careful

      From: JaDyn AtiNebo OdagLed
      Hahaha Wow! A filipina who has 2 aircon is having a hard life? Seriously? Sender, do you want to know what hard life is in the philippines? Search google poverty in philippines and You’ll see what hardlife is. LOL

      From: Joie CJ Penales Smith
      For a typical pinay who has 2 aircon… And claiming having a hard life??? Not very hard maybe
      Just be very careful sender.
      You will know if she’s for real. Good luck!

      From: Hyacinth May Barlis Oakes
      Well why don’t u try to meet her and find out! If she is telling the truth or not..
      Jasonmary Fetching N’Love Plemmons That’s a new style of this year. Have a hard life with 2 AC with an internet at home and of course if there’s a net there’s a computer. Hmmmm…unbelievable!!! All I can say is that Pinay needed someone’s help to pay her bills and so far. Scam. To Sender — Think billion of times and analyze everything first before anything else. Best of luck for searching and finding the ONE.

    • From: Jas William Chester
      Thats not good…breadwinner like me…i can say..my mom sell anything to survive…to send my sisters in college..so for me to help, im here abroad working hard…we dont have aircon and internet in the house…coz our house made of wood but it is not the reason to let other know what we have or ask for money. BE CAREFUL SENDER..many good pinay but many are foolish too…PEACE!!!

      From: Glendy Montemayor
      A typical life of a pinay is very simple, working in a shopping mall or any shop out there, a maid or any simple job and don’t have AC and mostly no internet connection and even a cheap netbook. Wow, it’s amazing then huh! having a hard life with 2 AC and internet connection? that’s a good life then…think, think, think.

      From: Janin Petersen
      Being a breadwinner is hard/ tough but if she is telling you this so to get sympathy, the being “poor me” thing, think twice don’t fall for that trap. If she can afford to have 2 air conditioning and internet connection that’s not a bad thing maybe she is earning good money. Just do’nt fall for the trap of the” poor me my life is so hard” it’s not your responsibility. I hope later you won’t cry because you were scammed. Good luck.

      From: Chris Ana
      When defining a hard life in my own opinion i would say there are no means of any comfy things like airconditioning or internet. she might have a good life compare to any other people living there. I used to have a hard life without any of these things, we just only relied on the old radio that sometimes dont have any signal at all and hardly eat with in just a day. Thankful for all the blessings that I did survive from that situation.

      From: Melanie Degamo Bayog Holst
      Real hard life is ONE DAY ONE EAT…no aircon,even a fan,no electricity either….but you.said she has 2 aircon and internet at home hmmmmm she’s not having hard life she’s trying to scam you….pittiful effect….

      From: Enahs Aucsap Onallera
      Hardlife naka aircon.,??? Db pwede electric fan lang mahal ang bayad sa meralco.,,, hahahah anyway sender i cant tell if that was a scam., unless she didnt ask anything from u yet., or u didnt send her any money yet., cause if u do u better think more and be smart just a piece of advice

      From: Russ Lister
      That’s what you called a USER… There’s too many of them around …and you have too many hint to know the motives of this mole…time for you to find someone who is not as useless as this SHELLA

      From: Rogelyn Labrilla
      Follow your guts, we don’t know her so we really cannot judge. but seriously, i even have 1 electric fan at home and 1 tv. no ac no fridge, no mum or dad, have 4 siblings and 1 kid and im a single mom. but i got my internet. lol ya but i never complain. i think people have different perspective about “hard life”. tell her life’s beautiful that she needs to appreciate. she’s a lucky girl indeed. goodluck

    • As majorities of people’s have mentioned may I voice my own opinion of a Hard Life of a Typical Filipinas, these are:
      -No power
      -No water
      -No proper toilet
      -Living in a hut in bundok (boon-docks)
      -If Living in City, they are renting one room(that room is called living room and dining room during day time and become bedroom during night. Everybody sleeps on the hard wood floors or worst wood with lots of splinters.
      -They only eat one day if they are lucky and that contains a scoop of rice and soy sauce serve as a viand or ketchup.

      These are the the typical hard-life of a filipina.

      If she has an aircon, internet, has money to help siblings to send them to go school and parents is living with her and even her lola’s meaning someone is providing it for her. If it is not you. then she is getting it somewhere else of other foreigners just like you. She love a suckers who can not figure it out of her situation so that she can milk them as much as she wanted to. Be very careful Jass.

      That’s my 2 cents.

      Filipinaaz

  30. Hi,I am 46 from USA, my fiancee is 20,Filipina. I have always been cautious about the girls I have wanted to get serious with as it seems that they will leave their husbands/boyfriends at the first sign of trouble. this is not the case of course for all American women just my experience. This perhaps could be the “type” i am attracted to. I have never dated someone over 30 and the last girl i was seeing here was 24. Shallow maybe. but i realize I am getting older and still no children (which I do want)When I met my gf online.I chatted and talked to her for a while with no expectations as friends. I was amazed at the stories she would share with me. Doing chores for neighbors who intern would help her financially to continue ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Her mother had to work so she would bring her baby brother to class with her at the age of 6.
    All of the struggles I was hearing pulled at my emotions of course but I was still skeptical and she was only sharing,not asking for anything.
    When i met her she was a first year nursing student (She graduated this year)
    After a few months of chatting the next time I talked to her was after a 1 1/2 years she was getting ready to begin her 3rd year of collage. and since then we have been talking on skype morning and night every day and on the phone at lunchtime,midnight my time, to this day she has NEVER asked me for money although I spontaneously sent her 10K peso last year for a hospital bill. She was it seemed embarrassed that i sent her the money that she needed.
    The humility,Loyalty,Passion,dedication and maturity level that i have seen in her is amazing to me. And like NO ONE of that age,many at 30 or even some at 40 years old where I am from.
    I think that a lot of western men that meet a girl online or go to the Philippines for girls either don’t get to know them first or they are delusional in their expectations.
    The first time I came to the PH was last month. I booked my hotel room with her name on the reservation so as she could check in for me (my plane was arriving at 11:30 pm)also I had a driver pick her up at the hotel before coming to the airport to get me. I also sent her $1000.00 to exchange for me so I could get a better exchange rate as opposed to the airport.
    Guess what Guy’s NO SURPRISES NO EXCUSES. My money was in tact when i got there in the denominations I wanted. she was even more than I expected.

    • I am so happy that you have found a keeper. There are tons out there but you just have to do more diligently to find these girls because they are now rare nowadays. Now, If you ever bring her over to US with you please be nice to her and treat her right.

      Good luck Anthony!

  31. i met my bf in a dating site, his 46 and iam 32 ,i like him a lot ,and i think he like me too..we chat almost a year , now the problem is…he want me to get nude on cam..and talk dirty ..is this normal for the online lovers?is he serious to me?confuse…

    • Razzell Cabriole Samayla

      NO! that’s not LOVE. If He really loves YOU He will respect YOU completely!.since You asked opinion I would say its disgusting to do that. I certainly oppose!! my F never asked me to do dirty things in thought and in deed.

      Shawn McRoberts

      it depends on what pleases them.. if they both are into it then its their choice.. if its one persons kink and the other person doesent feel right about it then you are not in the right situation. .move on.

      Arlene Martin

      I have boyfriend and I meet him in christianfilipina,,my boyfriend is 48 and I’m 18 ,,.,and he is kind and have respect he don’t ask me to get nude or anything,.,,,

      Mery Ann Gaor

      a big NO NO for me..if he really wants the girl..he should respect her..chatting for a year is not an excuse!!!!! my gosh..

  32. hi good day! just want to ask what I need to do. I’m here in guam right now using k1 visa, me and my fiancé are going to get married this month. after we got married we are planning to start all the paper work for my adjustment of status and EAD but we are going to leave guam this coming November. my question is we need to fly to japan airport then Houston and whatsoever. Do I still need anything or fill out some papers? because as far as I know k1 visa is valid only for one entry. Do you think it may cause a problem? hope you can help me. Thanks

  33. I met my bf in filipino cupid,we chat almost two years,we talk about future, we got different kinda conversation , like, fun talk, sex talk, jealous talk, we often do naked on cam, i love him with all my heart ,he often told me that he love me too and he want to marry me, after 2 years chatting to him ..He come here in phils to meet me in person,but the dream become a night mare .when we met its really odd coz i really dont felt his love ,he never hold my hands in public,i often noticed him staring other pretty lady whose passing by ..and give them remarks..like she is really pretty,so i could heard him .when we was in private place i talk to him i ask him if he really love me ,he said yes i love you..but i was confuse coz i cant felt his love ,i ask him to buy me a teady bear but he refuse and said ur materialistic and selfish , you need a rich guy..i was shock! bear is not that too much but he act like that! when he go back to his place ..i told him pls if u really dont love me then no more comunication, and leave me alone! but he always call and keep emailing me..so its hard for me to move on..he use other name coz i block his other ym.. he said his planning to move here in phils..but not sure when..and he said,” Sorry if iam not sure a lot of things about us, but i wanted to say that thank you for such a good friend to me.” i reply him i said..okey ..now i want move on and leave me alone for good . but he never stop sending me message, so i gave him second chance ..the worse is ..when we talk if iam not nude he will just watch tv..and his attention is to other things..his really a jerk! asshole! when i stop talking to him..he said ,one day i will come back there again.I dont understand this kinda human! hard to read his mind..his odd! crazy i think! any comments?the sad things is i still love him. but i need to move on…

    • You can’t have relationship to someone who knows not to give enough care for you. No matter how hard you try to make him like you he will never do so. It is his personality that you can never change. Some dude are just plain dry and do not know how to handle a woman. If you continue your relationship with him you will resent him sooner or later. I say move on.

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